Any Help on Bipolar Disorder?

Question by txsweetness: Any help on Bipolar disorder?
My oldest daughter is in a mental hospital, a week ago she had a breakdown and tried hurting herself. She has a problem with pain pills and was under the influence, and in a deep depression. Now she is having memories of an abusive childhood. I was there, the things she is saying did not happen. Will she ever remember them correctly? Or in her mind will my husband and I always be parents that mistreated her. Has anyone ever remembered the truth when they are getting better. Please help. I feel useless.

Best answer:

Answer by I Need 2 Scream
I am 29, just over A year ago I was in the same place as your daughter is right now. I had a major breakdown & I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
And yes – At the same time I had my breakdown I also had memories of an abusive child hood everything traumatic came back to me in one big hit and the worst part is where my stepfather abused me and my mother knew about it and didn’t stop it. My mother denied this and still does, on the basis that becuase I am bipolar I must be lying as dishonesty is a common trait in bipolar patients. (a hypnotherapy session later proved I was not lying by the way). It’s her that doesn’t want to face what happened to me. That’s why I have my memory of it back now from deep where it was buried.
So, I think you should at least take a good hard look at yourselves and listen to the claims she is making. Maybe it is you in Denial.
Wikepedia has some wonderful information on Bipolar as does an Australian website
My suggestion is if you can’t offer her love, support and understanding and compassion at a time like this – let someone who can do it, you will only do more damage to her and her treatment plans if you are not on her side – you will alienate her.
My mother at this point is in denial that I have bipolar, as is my brother and my sister-in-law. Oddly enuff – my sister-in-law works at the pharmacy that dispenses my medication that is obviously a treatment for bipolar.
Don’t drive your daughter away – My mother has wound and twisted me up so much that I have Doctors Orders to not have her in my life at this point in time. Don’t let that happen to you.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!



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2 Responses to Any Help on Bipolar Disorder?

  • Loreen A says:

    Was your daughter drinking and if she was taking pain medication did she overdose?Was she diagnosed by a psychiatrist and is she taking medications?I am sorry that these are a lot of questions but these are some ways you may find an answer.I am not a psychiatrist but it sounds like she is depressed about something.Did you try going to family therpay?That also may help but it won’t help if you can’t do much.This first link is going to tell you about Bipolar and Suicide
    Bipolar and Pain Medication
    Bipolar and Depression
    Alternatives for Bipolar
    Bipolar Diet
    Depression Medication
    Bipolar Medication and herbs
    Bipolar and Depression Therapies
    I hope these sites help you to understand Bipolar a little more.

  • ? says:

    Your Daughter does not have Bi-Polar Disorder. Both Axis of Bi Polar go on Mood Swings and Mania followed by periods of Depression, Axis 1 is usually followed by Schizophrenic Idealizations, and behaviors, a mania trip resulting of a month to three months, and Axis two is more or less Mood Swings anywhere from a day to day or a week to week basis. Misdiagnosis is one of the biggest problems today.

    However, your Daughter might have serious BPD. Borderline Pesonality Disorder.

    Manipulation and BPD, what they say

    “Manipulation or Desperation ?

    It’s no secret that non-BPs often feel manipulated and lied to by their borderline loved ones. In other words, they feel controlled or taken advantage of through means such as threats, no-win situations, the “silent treatment,” rages, and other methods they view as unfair.

    We believe that, in most cases, the BP’s behavior is not intentionally manipulative. Rather, this kind of behavior can be seen as desperate attempts to cope with painful feelings or to get their needs met-without the aim of harming others”

    (Bpdcentral, “Are people with BPD manipulative?”, 2001)

    “Although patients with BPD often use suicide threats in a manipulative manner, the primary care clinician must never ignore these threats or suicide attempts” (Elizabeth A Finley-Belgrad, MD,”Personality Disorder: Borderline”, Emedecine 2OO2)

    “Viewed by others as incredibly manipulative, borderlines themselves feel powerless. They act completely entitled yet have very little self-esteem, expressions of which others often misinterpret as attacks” (Tim Pheil L.P.N, “Borderline Personality Disorder”, mhsanctary)

    “The Borderline’s predicament results in both her enormous need for relationships and her great fear of intimacy. The tension between this fear and need can cause rage, guilt expressed in self-punishment…and anxiety that is relieved by acting out. The angry, impulsive, manipulative behavior of borderlines is their pathological attempt to elicit involvement and caring…

    Herein is a very central dilemma for most borderlines. How does one learn to stop seeking this soothing, this nurture (often absent in childhood) from others through manipulative and pathological means? ” (Janice M. Cauwels ,”Imbroglio: Rising to the Challenges of Borderline Personality Disorder”, Norton & Company 1992)

    “Persons with BPD may often be thought of as manipulative or as attention-seeking. They can sometimes “act as if” they are okay. People with BPD need validation and acknowledgement of the pain they struggle to live with as well as compassion without blame or judgements.” (Valery Porr,”Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder”, TARA APD)

    “Dysphoria (a profoundly painful emotional state) is triggered by mood swings, stress, and emotional pain. The pain is so severe that borderlines will do almost anything to make the pain go away – the dominant cause of self-destructive behaviors, manipulation, drug and alcohol abuse, suicide and self-mutilation”

    (Leland M. Heller,”Life at the border”, Dyslimbia Pr Inc; 3rd edition)

    “the goal in Borderline Personality Disorder is directed more toward gaining the concern of caretakers” (American Psychiatric Association)

    Aapel view of Manipulation and Borderline Personality Disorder

    Here is our feeling.

    Are BPD people manipulative ?

    If the question was: “Do Bpd people give the feeling they are manipulative ?” my answer would be “yes”.

    At the question “are bpd people manipulative?” my answer is “no”

    In Dictionary “Manipulate” : “To influence or use someone shrewdly or deviously at not avowed aims and by misleading it”

    That’s mean that to “manipulate”, we need to:
    – Be conscious
    – Act with premediation
    – Act in a narcissistic way
    – Have choice

    Are they conscious of manipulation ?

    Very ofen, no, they don’t have in mind some hidden aims… And when they are aware of some kind of manipulation, they don’t see any alternative and also sometimes don’t know that they have no alternative

    Are they acting with premeditation ?

    I would say “no”. In my opinion it is totally impulsive “I have to do this now, because it is the only solution / way to solve the problem”

    Are they acting in a narcissistic way ?

    Even if in the other hand, we could see them selfish, because we think they deny others, I never met a bpd people loving him or herself. Do you know narcissistic people who kill themselves ?

    Do they have choice to act in a different way ?

    I don’t think so. Most of their time, they can’t deal with the situation, deal with contradictory emotions, they feel cornered and act in the only “available way” (of course in their mind)

    Are they “Bad” people ?

    We have the right to think that, but could we say a person is “bad” when he or she act in the only available way ?

    To illustrate in an totally different case, “Am I bad if I never run in the garden with my son who’d like that?” yes ? … “Oh, sorry, I forgot to say you I was hemiplegic !”

    How a “non” could deal with that ?

    We are here in the real headache

    If we act, we can launch splitting (all good / all bad) and if we don’t act, we don’t help the loved one who needs informations and limits.

    So “the solution” does not exist. The best way is trying to explain that we know why “our” bpd people act like this, explain to him / her that it is not because he or she is “bad” and then explain that it is hurting us… but in end, hope is possible

    … and to conclude, it is not because we know why the loved one act like this that we are no more hurted. The hardest situation is to deal with our feeling of helplessness in the face of bpd behaviors

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