15 Year Old in Need of Family Advice (URGENT)?

Question by Drew S: 15 Year Old In Need Of Family Advice (URGENT)?
First off i am 15 years old. I do not stay with my mom because she has a boyfriend who hates me, but yet has no job, is known for multiple drug addictions, has served multiple times in different jails, and does not supply anything of need to the “Family” besides…food stamps(and even then my mom rations me to food at my own house because “Brad might get mad”.) He tries to pick fights with me, which we have been into physical conflicts more than 2 times. Both of which he pushed me to start. He tells my mom to call DSS on me and take me to foster care in which she agree’s and at one time said “I will in the morning”. I told her it was either him or me, because when i’m at home there is always tension between him and I. She told me I have no say in the matter. Well, choosing not to get into anymore conflicts and stay away from jail, I told my mom I would be staying with a friend and he and his family will take care of me. Because I have not been at home I haven’t had a ride to school, now it is at the point where in a week or so I will be truant and they can take me to jail for it. I need to know how I could go about being adopted by my friend and his family. My mom will try to fight against me being adopted, and act like she really cares, but im completely prepared to go through any and all of the emotional stress i know will come with my decision. He is 20 years old an is the one that has been taking care of me for right at a month. He has talked to my mom and told her to not worry about feeding him that he would supply everything that i needed, and has. His mom would be the one adopting me. She would also have me enrolled in an online home schooling program in which both of his sisters ages 5 and 16 are enrolled. its completely free and the school also supplies a laptop, and high speed DSL internet to the residence of the student. (ConnectionsAcademy.com) If you have any suggestions please tell me.

P.S. I have nasty ingrown toenails my mom has known about and not done anything for in months. The last time I had them the doctor told me next time he will have to cut my toe off if it goes on too long. I’ve had them again for 6 months. I also asked and my mom told me I don’t have medicaid, But with me being only 15 and her not being to financially stable i dont see why i dont have some type of government issued health insurance. Will either of these help me in the legal process of being adopted?

I know what I will be having to let go being adopted, such as losing my mom. But I am willing to because she isn’t taking care of me and she won’t anytime soon. Please let me know how to go about this without it coming down on me about school and not being able to make it. I would rather be homeschooled anyways because im so far behind, but seeing as she wont withdraw me from school so that i can be registered into homeschooling and start doing it on my own terms, i have no choice but to stay away from the school knowing that i will be arrested for truancy as soon as i walk in. Then i would have no say of how to go about getting this done in a legal fashion. Really, what judge will listen to a 15 year old run away, over his emotional mother in a court room. We all know that as soon as she hears im serious she’s gonna realize she cares. But ive given her to many chances and ive officially made up my mind. She’ll always be a friend, but shes got to earn being a mother.

Please Help Me.

~Drew.

Best answer:

Answer by Pearl L
ask the people that want to adopt you how to go about doing it.

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3 Responses to 15 Year Old in Need of Family Advice (URGENT)?

  • jhotherookie says:

    well if your friend and his family are finacially able u need to get a lawyer asap. also with the toenail thing that is neglect and she cant say its because no medicaid. there are “by your income” clinics everywhere and if it comes down to it u can go to the ER and they have to treat u, of course thats a big bill but when u have no other chioce its what u must do. the only other way other than a lawyer is to try your luck with childrens services which may result in u becoming a ward of the state and put u in foster care they will give your mom a chance to prove she wants u and the drug using boyfriend and your mom will be drug tested and evaluated if there are drug use allegations. they will be given so many chances to clean up their act if not they will have their parental rights terminated which will make it able for them to start the adoption process. but by then u will be about 18. i hope this helps and good luck

  • almost human says:

    When I wanted to leave home at 16, an older friend eventually agreed to put me up – just like you – by the time I was 17. She was 24 at the time and agreed to become my legal guardian. My parents signed and it was a good arrangement. Your friend isn’t old enough, but his mom is, and it sounds like she is willing. This keeps your mom as your mom for when she sees the light and gets rid of that idiot. And it also puts less of a commitment on your friend’s mom.

    The other thing you can do is try and apply for emancipation, where you are recognized as your own guardian. But this is much harder to do, because you have to prove you have shelter and income.

    While your home situation is neglectful and difficult, I personally wouldn’t recommend going through CPS. First, there would need to be a history of calls about your mom since there is triage – they have to take the worst cases first, since there aren’t enough resources to serve every child in need of help. And the burden of proof is upon you too.

    You might also go to a runaway or teen shelter and talk to a coordinator there and ask about what medical resources might be available. City clinics might also be a good place to go. They often have sliding scales and will provide treatment for very little, depending on your circumstances, which is much much better than going to the ER. The ER at the public hospital has to take everyone in, but they would send your mom a huge bill, so it’s really better to act sooner before it’s a crisis and talk w/ people who can work out a payment plan.

    If your mom is receiving food stamps, I also don’t understand why you don’t qualify for some healthcare. Do some research on-line or have your older friend or his mom look into that.

    I don’t know what the rules are anymore about guardianship or what your friend’s mom’s financial situation is, but it could be that your friend’s mom as guardian might be able to apply for food stamps for you, since you would be part of HER household then. In fact, your mom and her deadbeat boyfriend may no longer qualify for food stamps with you out of the house, (you didn’t mention other siblings)

    Hope I’ve been of some help – guardianship is a good way to go.

  • roszv says:

    First of all you could never lose your mother; she gave birth to you it sounds like you really love her, and just want her to care about you. While you were at home did you try keeping your mouth shut and going into your room or your space letting these two have it with each other, and leaving you out of it.? Just like you left home to go to a friends home you could have call the police when this person put his hands on you. However you can not hit him back or say ugly things to him take it for a minuet and first chance you get ( go to a neighbors house) call the police, and tell all about the drugs and the Domestic violence, more then likely weapons as well (just don’t you have one) don’t tell anyone in the house that you are going to do this. Just a thought if you have to go back. Second your health and well being is at stake you must get to a doctor /Er right away by any means necessary, Who was the doctor that saw you the first time? He/She knows your case go back to that doctor, money is not your concern for this issue. Thirdly, school is so important you can’t do anything or go anywhere without your education it sounds like you know this. What do you do all day if you don’t go to school? How far behind are you in school? It will take a minuet for any legal stuff to happen, and you need to get back into school or get started in home schooling. I know you like this idea of home schooling, but is it the right thing for you? Everything is not for everyone. If the (adult) person that you are staying with is truly interested in adopting you then the fastest way to get this process started is to ask her to go to the court and get the necessary paper work for guardianship. She/you can go on line and check out what is needed in your state. Your mother will have to agree and sign the paper work. This could be temporary giving her time to think about what is really going on, It should only take about 30 days, mean while you really need to do something about your schooling, and your health care the judge will take all of this into consideration as to if this person is best for you at this time. Have you or this person’s mother that you are staying with called the school and explained what is happening with you. some states send out teachers to tutor students or send them to an alternative school. They do all they can to keep a student in school if they know what is going on. You are growing up this must be hard on you, but you have taken the first step right or wrong, your life is not to bargained with, your mother is your mother and not your friend at this time, maybe when you grow up and become a responsible person. Make sure that you are right in all that you do and say. Another thing from you what you wrote your friend informed you mother that you were staying at his house with his family this does not make you a run-a-way, your mother knows where you are and whom you are with. Drew, Get to the doctor, get into school of some sort, get counseling talk to your mother, above all things pray. Do the right thing stay strong

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